Ode to the MPB

(Note: Mormon Bachelor Pad haters will probably judge me for this...But just remember, I still am awesome. Don't deny you have your guilty pleasures.)

Jake and Calvin. Calvin and Jake.

Who are these boys? No one knows. Except for like, Jake's mom or something.

For all I know, they could be a couple of girls, or 80 year old men reliving their glory years in college, or maybe even a couple of socially awkward weirdos. It's entirely possible.

But according to their blog, they are just a couple of relatively normal, recently returned missionaries living in Utah somewhere (not Provo).

They are the writers of the blog that so many love to hate. Mormon Bachelor Pad.

A few months ago, my friend Mauri told me I should read it, because she knew I would like it. A few days later, I started reading it, and decided to start at the beginning. It was almost as addicting as when I started watching 24 last year. I'm embarrassed to admit that I read all of their posts up to that point in about a days time.

And since then, reading it has been like an addiction to crack, but less harmful. I think.

Yes, sometimes they seem like womanizers, but you can tell that deep down they are good guys (despite the fact that someone compared them to the anti-Christ). I know; I have the gift of discernment.

However, after reading their many posts, I have come to feel rather skeptical about  the intention of most guys I know. Whenever someone I know starts dating a guy, I can't help but say to them (or sometimes just think, depending on the person) "Well...I hope they don't have an expiration date on relationships." or "Hopefully they aren't just in it for some making out." Kind of rude, right? But I suppose I've just been brainwashed. Most people are like "Those boys who write MBP do not represent the majority of Returned Missionaries. Don't listen to anything they say," but, I still wonder. Those same people tell me I shouldn't read such trash, or just roll my eyes. They are obviously too sensitive.

My personal thoughts on these guys? I love them. I think they are hilarious and honest. Sure, some of the things they say could be taken offensively Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor. Or I'm just awesome, you can decide.Some people think that their readers are just "desperate LDS girls that can't get married." Yeah, no. It's an entertaining blog. I guess the same can be said for anyone that has read a romance novel, watched a chick flick, or watched reality tv.

Calvin = stud. You know, as much as an anonymous person that I've never even seen a picture of can be. I've talked to him a couple of times, and even though I know (or, I assume) he uses the same lines on every girl that chats with him, I can't help but feel a bit flustered afterward. Totally have a blog crush on him. Too bad he won't divulge his identity to me, for but a few hours of bliss—well for him, not so much me. And I would even scratch his back in Church. One day, Calvin. One day. In all seriousness though, I love his posts, they always make me laugh and are grammatically correct. Once he gets over himself, he will make someone a stellar hubby. I think he's probably kind of nerdy looking, but that's cool with me. Calvin, once your blog goes under, you've got my number (actually, you don't. But that's beside the point).  And today's his birthday...Happy Birthday!

Jake. I think he thinks that no one likes his posts. Well, I do, quite a bit. Although they may not be as funny as Calvin's, they seem to be a bit more sincere and down to earth, and he seems a bit more mature (no offense, Calvin. Immaturity can be attractive). I may have slightly judged him for the fact that he posted a letter from his ex-girlfriend on the blog, and that he was a big bully when he was younger...but beyond that, he seems pretty legitimate. I talked to him once, and even though I don't think he liked me very much, he said he was a certified skydiver, which makes him ultimately cooler in my book. I'm pretty sure he will get married before Calvin. And if my mental image of him is correct, he's probably more attractive too. But, I've been known to be wrong. They are probably both at least 6's.

All in all, they definitely get the award for my favorite blog ever. Run, don't walk, and read it...unless you get offended by things easily, then please don't. Mom, I'm talking to you. I promise, you wouldn't like it.

Click to go right to their blog

And thus, my ode to the men of MPB ends. Don't judge me.

Fin.