Monday, December 7, 2009

Matching Monday: Dating

Cortney, Hilary, and I, being the bloggers that we are, decided that we would all write about a certain topic every Monday. We came up with the cute alliteration, Matching Monday. Unfortunately, Hilary was the only one who completed this task last week. I just wasn't feeling it. However, this week I'm feeling it. Cortney, being the obsessed person with dating she is, suggested dating. As this is a fairly broad topic, we made the executive decision that we could talk about whatever we wanted related to dating. However, Cortney slashed both Hilary and mine's hopes and dreams by saying we couldn't talk about carbon dating, or radioactive dating. I was crushed. Because I totally know what both those things are . . . (ellipses added for mysterious effect).

I'm a dating master. Let's not even talk about how many dates I've been on this semester (really, let's not). Let's just say last winter semester, I had 5 dates in one week. I'll let you sit on that one for awhile. Obviously, I know my stuff.

You may ask, "Katie Barker, how the heck do you do it? How do you get all the men?" Well, dear friends, this comic explains my flirting skills quite nicely:

See, boys don't actually like it when you giggle and compliment them. They don't want you to touch their arms. Bat your eyes. It's all fluff. Do you see the nice girls getting dates? No. It's the girls that back a boy into a corner that get a date. Fact. I did a study (even though I really didn't).

Next idea. All this idea of a "soul mate" is rubbish. Even dear President Spencer W. Kimball said, "'Soul mates are fiction and an illusion." After this was brought to my attention, I decided I should just like every boy I meet, and eventually, one will love me back. Well, eventually one that I approve of will like me back. Because trust me, boys love me. Even if they won't admit it and just write about it in their journal . . . My thoughts on this can be summed up in this:

Seriously. This has become my personal philosophy. Why should only one boy be affected by me? I think I'm doing everyone a favor by having a different crush on a different guy every week **

And finally, after some intense googling, this awesome Dinosaur comic popped up. It was like, Whoa, totally me:

I have done all of these. Let me expound:

Method One: Football. I took up football. Or, more, I took up "hey throw me the ball, and then I'll throw it back to you, and not have any skills/talents with it whatsoever, and you'll be like, 'whoa, let me show you baby'." Really, true story. I'll leave it up to your imagination on how well that turned out.

Method Two: It's true. If I know someone that has an attractive friend (or roommate), I try and cozy up to them, and get them to come over with their "friend". I mean, it's not like I'm using this person. I still want to spend time with them. I jsut feel like, I can kill two birds with one stone (gracing a friend with my presence, and finding my potential EC***), it works out for everyone. It works, every time (except for...not)

Method Three: 'Nuff said. Except. Most of my friends don't have brothers, or ones that it would make sense to date. I mean, sorry Cort, as studadelic as Taylor is, I'm just not into that. I need to find friends with attractive brothers . . .

Method Four: I do this ALL the time. I'm like "hey baby, you're a babe." and he's like "hey I was thinking the same thing" and then we like, go buy a taco together. Except I say it in my mind, and everything that happened after me telling werf he's a babe doesn't really happen. Unless the guy can read my mind. It happens.

Method Five: Ward directory, anyone? Except that's creepy. I try and stay under the radar in my ward.

So there you go. That is my thoughts on dating . . .

In all actuality, dating = fun. However, it's complicated. I can never tell when a guy is interested, or if he's just a player mc playin' face. And if he is, that ain't cool boys. No one likes that. I like to think I'm blatantly obvious about when I like someone. Yes, I may flirt with guys a lot, but I do believe it's obvious when I really have been captivated. There's a litlte somethin somethin' that's different about it. I mean, just ask Cortles. She can always tell when I like someone. So chances are, if you think I like you. I like you. So ask me out; even if you hate me. Give me an hour . . . Your heart will be captured for eternity ;-)

** I have discovered, I get crushes on lots of boys. Those last about a week. Then I find something about the guy that drives me crazy, and I stop liking them (shallow things like . . . small hands, or an annoying voice, or a receeding hairline . . . this goes along with another theory I have, but that's for another place, another time). But when I like someone? Oh, I like them. For a long time. If I've had a crush on you for more than 2 weeks, it's legitimate.

***Eternal Companion

****My views on dating have really changed over the past year. For the better, I promise. No more boys that bring me down. If you'd like to see my list of what I want in my future husband, I'll more than happily share it with you. And, unlike many things I write, it's completely heartfelt.

*****Be sure to read my roomies blogs about this. They give a different view as well.



The Boob Nazi said...

I don't flirt. I also don't date. I also don't let people in easily. I don't know which are related.
Correlation doesn't prove causation! Oh Psych 111

Seneca said...

'whoa, let me show you baby' haha thanks alot Katie! You made me snort out loud in the library, which happens to be stocked full of hott men.

Kristina P. said...

My theory about dating when I was in college was that there were a few girls who were getting all the dates. I hardly ever had a date, and neither did my friends! :(

Mauri said...

haha this made me laugh! I think a lot of guys don't like to take girls on "real" dates. Not all, but a lot of guys. At least I haven't gone on a TON of official dates-so you going on 5 in 1 week sure beats that! It's usually just hanging out a lot with a group of friends then it widdles down to hanging out selectively at some point after the flirting. I like hanging out a lot first a WHOLE LOT better. Sometimes dates are seriously awkward. I guess that goes against the typical mormon culture but I would much rather just hang out & be comfortable than to feel like both people are being forced into feeling the pressure of impressing the other person on a first date. Chase & I started hanging out with his friend and my friend (his friend was madly in love with my friend-who is now engaged to someone else lol). After all of us were hanging out every single night for about a month, him and I started hanging out just us-the rest is history I guess. Maybe I need to start demanding dates. I have a weird perspective on dating. I don't know where I was going with this but I liked this post!

Christie Beck said...

"B.AB." Need I say more?? ;)