How are you even alive?!

According to my mom, I must have actually been doing things lately because I haven't really posted very much. Okay. My social life ≠ amount of blog posts. That would mean for the majority of the past 6 months, I've had no life. And we ALL know that's not true . . . I swear. I'm super popular and cool. 


Anyways. Hilary has been telling me to post and now I will. 


So, despite the concerns of my mother, I donated plasma for the first time on Thursday. It was quite the experience. Where shall I start...


Oh yes, probably at the part when I drove there. 


So after I got out of class today, I drove home, changed my clothes, and headed to Orem. When I got there, I went through the necessary procedures of signing in and reading a pamphlet about the symptoms and danger of AIDs. After doing this, I went and sat down in the freezing cold waiting room. The whole room felt and smelt like the daycare I worked at. Weird. About 20 minutes later (even though the guy at the front desk told me it would only be a few seconds. Liar.), I, along with two other guys, were called back to an examination room. I knew that we had to have physicals before giving plasma, but I wasn't aware it would be with other people. That felt a little odd to me but I just went with it. Fortunately, after being in the cramped room for a few minutes, I realized that the guy was just giving us a presentation and the physicals would indeed be by ourselves...haha. The presentation was long and boring and pretty much told me that if I had AIDs, or been born in Africa, I probably couldn't give plasma. The guy did say that we needed to eat a good meal about an 2-4 hours before donating, and drink plenty of water. I'm pretty sure a couple sips from my water bottle and a cookie probably isn't exactly what he was talking about. But I didn't say anything. 


The whole time, I was secretly hoping I wouldn't pass any of the tests, so I could go home and be like "Oh they didn't accept me!" and I wouldn't appear to be a wimp. Forrest got off easy because he "didn't remember" the date of when he last donated blood so he couldn't donate. Yeah right. ;-) Unfortunately, this wasn't the case for me. 


However, I did pass all my tests but just barely on a few. In order to donate, your iron level has to be 38%. Mine was exactly 38%. I was told I need to eat more beets and spinach. Not gonna happen. Just so everyone knows, my blood pressure was 102 over 68. Text book definition there.


So basically after the tests,I just sat around and listened to my MP3 player. I  was still freezing, and I was dying almost because of it. Finally they called me back, and I was excited to finally be almost out of there.


(this is where I stopped editing this. Forgive me for any mistakes that may occur, or have occurred. I'm tired.) 


The room I went with was filled with a bazillion chairs. I felt like I was in some kind of sci-fi movie, and I was doing something illegal. It was also even more cold back there. I asked someone if it was always that cold, to which I was given a "Um...you're dumb" sort of look, and told that it prevents infection or something dumb like that. The girl also told me that it would be smart to bring a jacket next time. Rude. She totally insulted my intelligence. 


When I got back to the donation room, they asked me which arm I wanted to use. I figured it would be best to use my less dominant arm, so they set up my left arm. They touched my arm for awhile, trying to find a vein. The girl finally found one, but she felt the other arm might be better. So they tried to find a vein in that arm, and as I thought, they were really very deep. For some reason, this prompted the phlebotomist to exclaim with a bit too much enthusiasm:


"WOW! You don't have any veins. How are you even alive?!"


Well, actually, I am a vampire. It sure explains why I sparkle in the sunlight now. 


Anyways, after I found out that I should be dead, a technician came over and stuck me with the needle. It didn't hurt, but I was disappointed to see no blood going into the tube. The phlebotomist guy suddenly had a quizzical look on his face and started moving the needle around in my arm. Mademewannathrowup. They stuck that needle way far into my arm. He called over another girl, and she finally got a little blood coming out, but decided it wasn't enough. She decided to try my other arm, and despite her concerns that it wouldn't work, she got it to work on the first try. She then told me to drink more water and life weights. Um, little does she know that I use the weight machines at the Gym every time. I'm only slightly offended by this. Anyways, so the donation began.


Let me just tell you...SO boring. I had to sit there for like an hour. Every seven minutes I had to squeeze this stupid block thing. My hand was so tired. And I was so bored. I just wanted to talk to someone so bad, but everyone there was weird. Or doing something else. I was so excited when they finally told me I was done. I got up, got my money, and left. At that point, I hadn't eaten since about 12:00. It was 6:30. I was kind of afraid that I was going to die driving home. But I didn't. 


And that is the end of my first plasma excursion. My mom tried to make me promise it would be my last, but I couldn't do it. Sorry Mom. 


I got a pretty nasty bruise on the arm they pushed the needle around in. I tried to take a picture, but it didn't do it justice. This first picture shows this weird yellow mark that appeared (but has since disappeared) and the second is the bruise. I realize you can't really see anything, but I swear, it was pretty nasty, but awesome, ask my roommates. Kind of made me feel like I was  a heroine addict though. 

(yes, I really am that white)

You know what, this whole experience felt illegal to me. From the long lines of chairs and check out process where I felt like I was being paid for illegal drugs, to my arms looking like I took a leaf out of Jack Bauer's book and shot myself up with heroine. And I had to pee in a cup. I felt like I was being tested for drugs. 

Anyways. Everyone else should do this too. Then we could all join a fanpage on facebook! yay!